Day 10: finally over

I win.

Day 9: soured gut

All day today I've had this wrenching sour guy feeling about the summer time and my in laws. Weird combination? Normally, yes. In my case, ugh, its all too normal. Let's revisit last summer with my husband's family visiters. Drama. Drama. Drama. That's pretty much it. And the annoying fact that my mother and father in law constantly asked me if they could take my child to the beach with them. And my response has always been no. Summer time is vast approaching and I'm dreading it bc I know the request to take my child away for the day is coming and I'll say no and there will be drama. My husbands sister plans to visit for the whole summer, ugh I'm not looking forward to that. At all. Truth be told I'm just so tired of living next door to the in laws. If I can be truthfully honest, I hate it. It's unnatural. My husband has to run everything by them, annoying. Tells them everything, annoying. Constantly having to go over there 1+ times a day, annoying. Don't think I'm being hateful, I'm just venting. I keep it bottled up most of the time and this is my space to say how I feel without a filter. So summer time, take your time. Seriously. I don't want to see you.

Day 8: For mama

Trying. Seems like I spend most of my day Trying..doing things for other people. Which is fine bc that's what I love. I love helping, giving, doing most anything to place a smile on a face. I'm 100% positive that I got that gift from my mom. I wouldn't want anything else. 

My mom revealed to me about what she's been doing in Haiti. (I was born in Haiti and moved here when I was 3) for about a year now my mom opened up a free company and a soup kitchen. I mean how awesome is that? Growing up I never saw my mom as a someone with such a big heart and a hunger to just help. I mean, we all had a tough time. Life was just hard. From what I had to grow up to understand, my moms past kept her from being truly happy, that and Denis. But as she would say God broke her chains and set her free. That's when I was introduced, not to my mom, but Ms. Choisila Dieudonne. 

Sometimes I feel under appreciated. I feel used by friends...Or ppl I thought were my friends. But this is just who I am and I don't want to change that bc someone turns down my gifts or doesn't call or text me, but I don't care anymore. Lol. I just don't. I'm going to continue on who I am....bc that's who I am.

Although you'll never read this, mama, I want to say thank you for inspiring me. Giving me tough love bc that's all you knew. Thank you for forgiving me for being selfish and not understanding all the pain and struggle you went through to protect you're kids from the danger that lived in our home. And thank you for letting me into your world and letting me get to know who you are. I love you, mama.