One bad feeling

Can change everything. Its so crazy how thats really all it takes. Everything can be fine and then you you just get that one bad feeling in your gut, and its all changed. It all sucks again. Its all down the drain..again. If some of you dont know what I mean or how it feels, let me explain it better to you...its like you fall into a pool and no one is around to save you but then you feel arms pulling you up to the top and you're gonna be okay..but just like that you get thrown back under. sucks huh? Or how about this, you get stabbed with a knif..you are just starting to heal but someone...smart, slices you open again with the same knif. In the same spot. Sucks huh? Maybe this is a little extreme. But I feel its necessary. Really. Its the most unpainful pain ive ever felt. Sometimes...well often I wish and wonder what my life would be like if that one moment never happened. this is all because of a stupid feeling. stupid. useless. worthless. regretful. sorry.

Eyes on fire

This is an amazing song. Lol. So thisw morning I woke up and didnt want to get out of bed. ughh. another one of those days, I know thats probably what you're thinking. But no, today id=s actually different. Well, Im going to claim that it is. Everything that is going to take place today was ment to happen. It was already written. Hmmm. Already written.
Summer classes...booo, I cant wait till its over. I want to become and MMA fighter!! So bad!

Better then yesterday.

So far, today has been better then yesterday. I know you're probably like 'um, its only 11am and the day just started.' But its more then that. The feel that I got for today is good. I hope it plays out to be a good day. I havent felt excited about anything in a really long time. I got that feeling...and nothing is going on. working again this weekend. Making..or trying to make some money. :/
Yesterday, I had one of the best conversations in the whole world with a great friend!
So, so far, today's better then yesterday.

I know what I have to do..

but am I going to do it?
that would require of me to left go of the closet thing to me. Completely let it go and really just move away. I know that sounds a little dramatic but I feel thats what needs to be done...or Ill never be happy again. I dont remember what feeling happy is like. Its like Im...dead. But still walking. :/

Please, someone, bring me back to life!