Being the bigger person

Why is it me that always has to be the bigger person and look past your foolish ways?

Like forreal, I'm just mad.

Doesn't it only seem right for someone to tell the whole truth if they are gonna your name come out of their mouth?

Instead of picking and choosing what to say just so they can look better. 

I'm just over it. 

I am not a nasty person and I'm not rude

But man if you don't bring it out in me. 

I'm disappointed in myself for giving you that power. 

I'm reminded everyday that you are the way you are. 

And you will always be the way you are now. 

I wipe my hands of this situation and I'm just done. 

Now can you be a big girl and do the same?

Cut me open already.

I'm terrified of having this surgery. 

But I know it has to be done. 

I want this but I can't help but feel absolutely scared. 

Have faith.

Okay-

I'm trying. 

Just thinking about getting out under and then waking up if terrifying. 

I never knew I feared this untill I'm facing it. 

😳

I've never had a panic attack, but thinking about this makes my heart race and my armpits sweat. 

Lord help me.